It's Easter Sunday and like any other Sunday there isn't a radio net. Live aboards have a love or hurt relationship with the radio net in the marina. I will leave it to you to guess how I feel about it.
As usually it starts with the controller asking for a radio check. Within seconds someone informs him /her that they’re loud and clear. This is followed by asking if anyone has any objection to using the channel and it's at this point that I wait in suspense to see if anyone does, but in all the years I’ve been living on a boat not once has anyone objected.
This leads on to any emergencies, safety or marina issues. Here I have asked myself: what's the point of this? There you are having a heart attack, you just cut off your finger or even worse; you just caught your private part in your zipper. Then waiting till the morning net to ask for help? Mind you, I’m not too sure if any of us would ask for help with the zipper incident and when it comes to safety or marina issues, surly if next door’s jib had come unfurled or a mooring line had snapped in last night’s blow you would get off your ass and do something about it and not wait to report it. And when it comes down to complaining about the marina; that's a big no no, you would just be told by the controller to take it up with the marina. What do you expect him to do about it, so why ask if there are any issues.
With that out of the way comes the all-important part, the weather report. So imagine you sitting in your cockpit, blue sky overhead and a nice light breeze. Or you’re sitting down below, a gale blowing and it pisses down and someone comes on the radio just to tell you what you have known for some hours. Better still, when it comes to reporting wind speed: " I registered 35 kts ", before the next one comes on to say he had 45 kts. It doesn't stop there, someone else has to pitch in with even stronger wind speeds. As yachts men and women we spend most of the year figuring out what the weather is going to do while out at sea and now, while our boats are safely velcroded to floating pontoons, we wait in suspense to be told by others what the weather is doing, only to hit the keyboard minutes later to check if they’re right.
Then it comes to the social events. Now I have to say I got very excited the first time I heard the marina held a happy hookers morning. All sort of thoughts ran through my head, I even tried to persuade Christine to go off for the day so I could go and see what all this was about, only to be very disappointed to find it was some of our lovely lady's doing needle work.
As usually it starts with the controller asking for a radio check. Within seconds someone informs him /her that they’re loud and clear. This is followed by asking if anyone has any objection to using the channel and it's at this point that I wait in suspense to see if anyone does, but in all the years I’ve been living on a boat not once has anyone objected.
This leads on to any emergencies, safety or marina issues. Here I have asked myself: what's the point of this? There you are having a heart attack, you just cut off your finger or even worse; you just caught your private part in your zipper. Then waiting till the morning net to ask for help? Mind you, I’m not too sure if any of us would ask for help with the zipper incident and when it comes to safety or marina issues, surly if next door’s jib had come unfurled or a mooring line had snapped in last night’s blow you would get off your ass and do something about it and not wait to report it. And when it comes down to complaining about the marina; that's a big no no, you would just be told by the controller to take it up with the marina. What do you expect him to do about it, so why ask if there are any issues.
With that out of the way comes the all-important part, the weather report. So imagine you sitting in your cockpit, blue sky overhead and a nice light breeze. Or you’re sitting down below, a gale blowing and it pisses down and someone comes on the radio just to tell you what you have known for some hours. Better still, when it comes to reporting wind speed: " I registered 35 kts ", before the next one comes on to say he had 45 kts. It doesn't stop there, someone else has to pitch in with even stronger wind speeds. As yachts men and women we spend most of the year figuring out what the weather is going to do while out at sea and now, while our boats are safely velcroded to floating pontoons, we wait in suspense to be told by others what the weather is doing, only to hit the keyboard minutes later to check if they’re right.
Then it comes to the social events. Now I have to say I got very excited the first time I heard the marina held a happy hookers morning. All sort of thoughts ran through my head, I even tried to persuade Christine to go off for the day so I could go and see what all this was about, only to be very disappointed to find it was some of our lovely lady's doing needle work.
But not all is doom and gloom; Happy Hour Friday nights, MY GOD how many time have we got to be told, considering most of us sailors like a drink or two surely once or twice is more than enough. To be told day after day there’s a happy hour on a set day, do we rely on the drink that much that we have to be reminded on a daily basis? It seems that we have been so brainwashed that even when we meet friends, the conversation ends with us being told: "don't forget happy hour on a Friday night ". This goes on for the next six months, by which time the bar owner has bought a new Porsche and a BMW for the wife with our help.
We then come to the item Lost and Found. This can come in useful at times, like if you lost your underwear or after a happy hour lost the captain, this has happened sometimes.
Then comes the best bit: treasures of the bilge. Who can resist buying someone else’s rubbish: everything from odd bits of cable, the latest toy that doesn't work as well as it has been advertised or an anchor that’s been rusting in the locker while the new one shines on the bow. Although, some good bargains can be snapped up. Spin dryer, washing machine, air condition unit, all hand stuff to keep for the next pontoon boot sale.
We then come to the item Lost and Found. This can come in useful at times, like if you lost your underwear or after a happy hour lost the captain, this has happened sometimes.
Then comes the best bit: treasures of the bilge. Who can resist buying someone else’s rubbish: everything from odd bits of cable, the latest toy that doesn't work as well as it has been advertised or an anchor that’s been rusting in the locker while the new one shines on the bow. Although, some good bargains can be snapped up. Spin dryer, washing machine, air condition unit, all hand stuff to keep for the next pontoon boot sale.
In the end, the day controller reports he / she is shutting down the net and to stay off the marina channel and only use 77 to call on and then turn to a different channel. It all goes silent and the net is over for another day .